monogamy blues

written august 15, 2005

why monogamy?

what does it have to do with love? what does it have to with sex?

if we don't get jealous or upset (in a healthy environment) that the friends we love have other friends they spend time with, other friends we may or may not know, then why can't those we are intimate with-emotionally, sexually-do the same?

does love between two people who are sexually intimate come with a possession clause?

if you can spread your love for your parents, your siblings, cousins, family, friends, albeit unequally, then why can't that love extend to another with whom you want to share your innermost thoughts, dreams, desires, your body?

can you be loyal to one while sharing a life with another?

if sex was solely for procreation, wouldn't we have estrus cycles like other animals, instead of a lifetime of choice? would it feel as good?

if the two of your were comepletely open and in agreement, setting boundaries, would you be able to have a healthy, intimate relationship with more than one person?

do we have to study the animal kingdom to validate our own species' monogamous practices?

if you never fall out of love with your family or friends, then why does it happen with someone we've become physically intimate with?

is it possible to have more than one soulmate?

should love be an action word?

should it be a consistent with core values based on mutual respect, care, responsibility and commitment?

does respect and commitment have anything to with who you share your body with?

is it really possible to be happy with one person for the rest of your life?

are we really supposed to sacrifice and compromise our purpose in this world for the greater good, or, til death do us part?

is this truly a GOD sanction or a human institution?

what would our lives be like if it didn't matter our paternity? if we were free to love and live with whomever we choose, and then be just as free to leave when the relationship no longer fulfilled a need?

would we be more careful? or cause more damage?

with what we know now, with more and more people choosing not to stick it out, but equal numbers still holding fast to the belief of one true love, what needs to happen to stop the hurt, the pain, the sacrifice, the suffering, the compromise?

2007 Kundalini Yoga Retreat in Costa Rica

Join Melissa D. Haile for ten days of yoga, relaxation, sun, beaches, and more in Guanacaste, Costa Rica

March 23-April 2, 2007

Retreat Includes:
Daily Yoga Instruction
All Meals (Vegetarian)
Private Consultations
Excursions to the beach, hiking, sightseeing and more!
Please visit www.ModernYogini.com for more information.

EVENT: NYC GAY PRIDE 2006-Yoga Workshop

Pride & Sexuality: Celebrating Spirit, Identity, and Community

Saturday, June 24, 2006 or Sunday, June 25, 2006, 1-4pm  
Universal Force Healing Center, Chelsea, NYC (see below for address & directions)

Join Kundalini Yoga Instructor Melissa D. Haile for an afternoon of healing, connecting, and growth. With a focus on creating self-love, acceptance, and community, this workshop aims to take you beyond the traditional yoga class experience and into a new realm of mind/body/spirit consciousness. Through movement, mantra, and breath work, you will recharge your sexual energy, activate your heart center, and deepen your sense of self and connection with others. After class, stay for tea and a light meal.

This Kundalini Yoga Workshop welcomes all practitioners, from beginners to advanced levels. No previous experience with yoga is necessary. Participants are strongly encouraged to bring a friend, partner, or loved one, including that someone you’ve been waiting to share The Life with.

Investment includes mat rental, a bottle of water and light vegetarian fare.

$34/in advance (2-for-1 $55); $45/door (2-for-1 $75). Tickets can be purchased on-line by visiting www.HoneybeeWellness.com or in person, Mondays-Thursdays from 6pm-10pm at Universal Force Healing Center.

Universal Force Healing Center is located at 7 West 24th Street between Broadway and 6th Avenue. A, C, F, R, W, 1, 6 trains to 23rd Street.

For More Information Contact:
Melissa D. Haile
T (877) 334 WELL
E-mail: info@honeybeewellness.com
WWW: www.HoneybeeWellness.com

Article: Erasing Bisexuality

Article:Erasing Bisexuality


In the event this article is no longer available, The authors Eric Tyson and Melinda Brown can be contacted by e-mail at: Eric can be contacted at bicontinuum@yahoo.com and Melinda at bi.words@gmail.com.

Do It Over Dinner

Do It Over Dinner: Adult Conversations About Adult Play

Join Melissa D. Haile, Holistic Health Counselor, for an open dialogue about sexual health over good food.


December 20, 2005 “Adult Sexuality” Cuisine: Vegetarian

December 27, 2005 “Communicating Sexuality across Sex and Gender” Cuisine: Indian

Because most of us learn about sex from our friends, what better way to get relevant sexual health education than over dinner in a friendly, non-classroom environment?

As an adult, it’s easy to think that you know all there is to know about human sexuality, sex, gender, sexual health, and everything else that comes along with being sexually active.

But how much do you really know?

In most circles, talking about sex at the dinner table is a big no-no. But since we never really talk about it until we’re doing it, having a discussion about sex outside of the bedroom creates a relaxed space to share beliefs and concerns around sex and sexuality. When you’re clear about your needs and desires, it makes for a better sexual experience.

These events are open to anyone 18 and over, and I encourage participants to break bread with people outside of their age group, because we all have the same concerns and have much to share and learn from one another. These dinner talks are also alcohol-free, which means that participants will be encouraged to forgo the consumption of alcoholic beverages.

Cost: $60pp, includes full course meal + gratuity

Maximum 6 participants/advance registration is required

e-mail today for more information.

Sexual Wellness

Sex is Not the Enemy

Sex is not the enemy.

Sex is not the enemy.

Sex is not the enemy.

I don’t think you get it, so I’m going to repeat it throughout my writings, as if subliminally. Or maybe on purpose. Sex is not the enemy. Either way, I want you to know: Sex is not the enemy. Eventually, it will become so stuck in your head Sex is not the enemy that you may find yourself in the middle of a conversation on why you should never wear plaid with stripes or belts with suspenders when you’ll suddenly blurt out Sex is not the enemy and your friend will look quite confused but at the same time find it refreshing that Sex is not the enemy and will therefore pass it on like the latest urban slang word to hit mainstream which is an excellent idea since Sex is not the enemy and wouldn’t we all just feel better if we truly believed that sex is not the enemy because how could something that is meant to bring two people together sex is not the enemy to create new life sex is not the enemy or to experience the pleasure of another person sex is not the enemy or both be so bad sex is not the enemy and what if sex is not the enemy and it’s the highest expression of love and what if sex is the closest we’ll ever get to GOD sex is not the enemy because if you really think about it sex is not the enemy it is the only thing that GOD cannot do sex is not the enemy which is the reason humans can sex is not the enemy create life I mean and if you love yourself and sex is not the enemy you’ll only have sex with people who love themselves sex is not the enemy and you can’t truly love someone else if you don’t love yourself sex is not the enemy and loving yourself means you understand your body sex is not the enemy and you understand that you won’t have sex because you want a hug and sex is not the enemy and when you want attention you’ll say HEY look at me because sex is not the enemy and you understand your body’s processes sex is not the enemy so you know what happens when sperm meets the egg and sex is not the enemy so if you choose not to use a condom you’ll wait until your least likely to conceive and you know how to protect yourself sex is not the enemy from people who might use your body in ways that do not nourish your body mind spirit sex is not the enemy so you’ll wait if you’re not ready sex is not the enemy and you know how to protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy because sex is not the enemy and if sex were only meant for procreation sex is not the enemy then why do women have menstrual and not estrus cycles sex is not the enemy I’m not trying to sound preachy sex is not the enemy but maybe I am sex is not the enemy or just a little bit sex is not the enemy what does it matter who we have sex with sex is not the enemy as long as all parties involved are mutually consenting sex is not the enemy and are willing to take full responsibility sex is not the enemy for the outcomes of sexual activity because you can enjoy sex when you get all of the logistics out of the way sex is not the enemy like she takes birth control if you believe in that sex is not the enemy and he wears condoms because even though we say we’re monogamous you can never be too careful sex is not the enemy or maybe this time she’ll wear the condom sex is not the enemy because why not and here’s to new experiences and sex is not the enemy and condoms come flavored now sex is not the enemy so even if it’s oral you can protect yourself sex is not the enemy and lubrication is a wonderful thing for those oh so tight spaces sex is not the enemy GASP! Did she just say that sex is not the enemy yes she did gurl! Sex is not the enemy just make sure the lube is compatible with that condom sex is not the enemy and why is it called a dental dam sex is not the enemy who cares so long as you know what it’s for sex is not the enemy and those are finger condoms, really? sex is not the enemy I thought they were for little well hmm sex is not the enemy can I tie you up sex is not the enemy that sounds like fun sex is not the enemy and can I spank you sex is not the enemy why yes sex is not the enemy so interesting that leather becomes you sex is not the enemy and while you submit to your master remember the safe word is sex is not the enemy sex is an integral part of our being human sex is not the enemy and while some may choose to define their sexuality sex is not the enemy while others choose to let their sexuality define them sex is not the enemy that is okay because sex is not the enemy and you can choose to believe that people are one way sex is not the enemy or another way and there is no in between and sex is not the enemy or you can choose to believe that sexuality is fluid and deserves a lifetime of exploration because sex is not the enemy but the goal is to realize above all things sex is not the enemy because when you get to the point that sex is not the enemy you realize that we make a big deal about something that is important but not the only important thing we could be talking about sex is not the enemy or trying to deny sex is not the enemy or trying to change about ourselves sex is not the enemy and then we can move freely throughout our lives because sex is not the enemy and what a relief it is to have that off your shoulders because sex is not the enemy and now you can truly be free when sex is not the enemy.

Isn’t that the name of a song?

(Why yes, sex is not the enemy, by Garbage)